FILE 003 Agatha Accepts an Appointment
Recovered from the records of the Department of Architectural Harmony. Several pages
bear unusually small footprints. The Society has determined these constitute official inspection
marks.
It first came to the Society's attention when Chairman
Mortimer observed...
someone watching the meetings.
Not participating.
Not interrupting.
Simply...
watching.
The resident had established a position upon the porch window.
An admirable location.
Excellent visibility.
Reasonable afternoon shade.
And an unobstructed view of nearly every Society
proceeding.
Huebert conducted a routine inspection.
"No permit."
"No."
"No residency application."
"No."
"No complaints either."
"...Also no."
The matter was therefore tabled until additional
observations could be made.
Additional observations accumulated rather quickly.
The resident rarely remained still for long.
Society of Porch and Garden Affairs
She inspected windows.
Surveyed flowerpots.
Patrolled porch railings.
Even sat upon the broom on the front porch.
Without any member recalling seeing her travel there.
Her movements were quiet.
Deliberate.
Purposeful.
Chief Security Officer Cooper conducted a cautious
introduction.
He leaned forward.
She tilted her head.
He tilted his.
She tilted hers a little farther.
The inspection concluded peacefully.
Cooper later described her as...
"Very tiny."
Chairman Mortimer found this assessment technically
accurate.
Though increasingly less so with each passing week.
Chief Correspondence Officer Sir Winston the Golden Pup,
M.G.B.S., reviewed the growing collection of observations.
"It appears..."
he remarked thoughtfully,
"...that she has accepted employment."
"No appointment has been offered," replied Huebert.
"Perhaps..."
said Winston,
"...she appointed herself."
No member found this difficult to believe.
Chairman Mortimer eventually approached the window.
The little spider looked up.
Then tilted her head.
Society of Porch and Garden Affairs
Mortimer regarded her for several thoughtful moments.
Finally...
"I believe..."
he said quietly,
"...she is paying attention."
"So are we," replied Huebert.
"Not in the same way."
Several weeks later...
the resident remained.
Still inspecting.
Still observing.
Still appearing wherever important Society business seemed
likely to occur.
By then...
someone had begun calling her Agatha.
No formal vote had been recorded.
No naming committee had convened.
The name simply...
seemed to fit.
Society Resolution
The Society respectfully acknowledges that curiosity is
among the most valuable qualities a resident may possess.
Agatha has demonstrated exceptional dedication to
observation...
remarkable window inspection standards...
and an admirable willingness to investigate matters
considerably larger than herself.
The position of Window Warden is therefore recognized
as an official Society appointment.
No salary has been authorized.
Agatha appears entirely unconcerned.
Additional observations shall be recorded...
provided she has not already noticed them first.