Society of Porch and Garden Affairs
Dedicated to the observation, documentation, and appreciation of ordinary magic.
Welcome to the official archives of the Society of Porch & Garden Affairs.
Here you will find field reports concerning frogs, birds, gardens, weather events, dogs, mushrooms, tomatoes, and other matters of significance.
New reports are filed whenever something wonderful happens.
OFFICIAL SOCIETY NOTICE
Regarding the Forthcoming Publication of Collected Proceedings
It has come to the attention of the Society that certain matters documented within these archives may be of interest to the general public.
Following considerable discussion, several committee meetings, and at least one objection of uncertain origin, preparations are underway to publish the collected proceedings of the Society of Porch & Garden Affairs.
The forthcoming illustrated book will contain accounts of garden residents, questionable investigations, official correspondence, and other matters deemed worthy of permanent record.
A publication date will be announced once the necessary arrangements have been completed.
Those wishing to receive notice of publication are invited to join the correspondence list.
Filed with the appropriate degree of ceremony.
The Society of Porch & Garden Affairs
FILE 022-CCommittee for Porch Sitting Etiquette
The Society has long maintained that proper porch sitting is neither accidental nor idle. It is a practice requiring patience, comfortable chairs, and a willingness to notice the ordinary wonders of the world. Recovered from the Society Archives.
FILE 014 The Matter of the Unannounced Mailbox Expedition
When The Human announced she was "just running to the mailbox," Chief Security Officer Cooper immediately recognized the gravity of the situation. Without a proper canine escort, twenty-seven dangerous steps stood between The Human and the unknown. The Society for Porch & Garden Affairs has officially documented the resulting investigation.
File 031 The Armored Visitor
Chief Security Officer Cooper investigates an unidentified armored visitor and bravely maintains a very appropriate tactical distance.
FILE 027 Robbie’s Midnight Patrol
Robbie begins his nightly patrol of Society grounds while Cooper supervises, Winston observes, and Montgomery remains unlikely to cooperate.
FILE 007 The Curious Case of the Yellow Orb
Chief Security Officer Cooper submits an unidentified yellow orb to Society Headquarters. Chairman Mortimer observes the evidence, declines immediate comment, and leaves the investigation officially ongoing.
FILE 004 Regarding the Temporary Protective Custody of TwoUnidentified Rabbit Children
After the storm, Cooper discovered two very small rabbit children in the yard. The Human intervened, Winston produced his credentials, and the Society learned that not every resident stays — but every resident is worth remembering.
FILE 003 Agatha Accepts an Appointment
Agatha is a jumping spider with an alarming amount of personality and a remarkable interest in matters that do not concern her. The Society has officially appointed her Window Warden.
FILE 016 The Nestwick Children Leave Home
The Nestwick Children have flown. The nest remains, the memories remain, and somewhere beyond the porch, four little birds are beginning lives larger than the nest that held them.
FILE 000 Regarding the Matter of the First Meeting
Mortimer lives in the lemon tree pot beside the tomatoes. He pays no rent, contributes very little to household chores, and improves the property considerably.